Path of the Deathless

255 (I) Extraction [II]

-The Culturist and Hades Hymn255 (I)

Extraction [II]

Shiv grunted under his breath. "Well, I can't say I didn't see this shit coming."

"Were you anticipating a brawl with the Culturist?" Hades asked.

"It's practically fated to happen," Shiv grumbled. "Of course it is. I'm the Deathless. Everything I do results in another brawl, another war, another few thousand people dying." He let out a low exhalation and shrugged. "Nothing for it then. Let's deal with this Culturist and get Uva and the others home."

"Right, about that," Know-Nothing said, his voice silken and serpent-like, as if a snake wriggling its way into the conversation. "I have a request to make."

"In fact, we all have a request to make," Yellowbelly said from his corner, chuckling as he looked down at the gathered crowd. "Now that we're all formally acquainted, and our mutual interests are established, we'd like to ask you for an invitation."

"Invitation?" Adam repeated. "What kind of invitation?"

"A formal invitation to establish a branch at Gate Piety, of course," Poverty said. He all but giggled as he spoke. "In exchange for our resources, expertise, and all the aid we've provided you thus far, I think that we are due for a more formal relationship."

Adam and Shiv shared a look.

"We're going to need a second to discuss," Adam declared to the dragons. "Also, we want to discuss in private. She needs to be included as well."

As the Gate Lord gestured towards Uva, Hymn folded his arms and huffed dramatically. "You understand that you won't be able to reach her without me. And if you're reaching her through me, I'll be included in the conversation. I'm not exactly an unbiased party."

“Yeah, but there’s one thing different about you, Hymn,” Shiv said. “I know where you are on campus. You got skin in the game.”

“Ah. The direct threat method of compliance. Truly, the most effective means of negotiation with another Legend.” Hymn chuckled. “You should take a diplomacy class, boy. I strongly recommend it.”

Shiv snorted—but deep down, he found himself considering the idea.

And so, before the 4-man conference could begin, a 2-person dialogue formed between Shiv and Adam. The Deathless extended a tendril of Psychokinetic energy and connected his mind to the Gate Lord’s. Once more, Commander's Foresight was used, and they discussed their steps ahead in private.

Shiv said immediately.

Adam replied, immediately at odds.

Shiv said.

Adam said, his voice thin with frustration.

Shiv scoffed.

Adam said.

Shiv said simply.

Adam shot back. Shiv winced internally.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

Shiv reconsidered his statement a second later.

Adam sighed.

Shiv asked.

Sage of the Enkindled Heart:

Shiv said.

Adam asked.

Shiv spent a near minute considering Adam's words, and he was starting to get a headache from the strain of sustaining the skill alongside Adam. He knew that there was sense there, he knew that he was also desperate, he knew... And then an epiphany came to him. A downright evil idea.

Shiv said.

The Gate Lord sighed.

Suddenly, Adam was utterly speechless

Adam breathed.

Shiv said.

Adam chuckled.

Skill Gained: Poetry (Common)

Apparently, the System agreed.

Adam sighed.

Adam asked. There was a hint of doubt in the Gate Lord's mind.

Adam insisted.

Shiv agreed.

Gardener of Doubt:

Gardener of Doubt 54 > 57

Adam sputtered.

The Gate Lord said, flabbergasted.

Shiv realized Adam was talking about Sage of the Enkindled Heart.

Shiv hummed.

Adam hissed.

Shiv considered that for a moment.

Adam couldn't quite articulate what he was trying to say, but Shiv caught on anyway.

The Gate Lord sighed.

Their dialogue finished, time resumed its flow, and Shiv looked at Hymn. "One more thing. I think we want to include the Avatar here as part of the conversation."

"You want to what?" Radio suddenly looked at Shiv.

Cripple's voice followed right after.

"We promised to get you in touch with the Starhawk, right?" Shiv said. He pointed at Uva through the hole in the wall. "Well, here's the moment. You're looking at his Avatar right now."

Radio's screen-shaped face flickered with incandescence.

"Roland took a bit too much of a beating toward the end of the siege," Shiv said. "Not the least thanks to most of you guys fucking him over instead of helping him. So, in his place, we found the only other person capable of sustaining a god's power."

Cripple asked.And then, a realization struck the Ascendant.

"Interesting strategy," Hymn said. "I hope you understand that I'm not overly worried about this, right? Most of what I'm doing is sanctioned by Chandler." Hymn paused. "Well, I wouldn't exactly call it sanctioned. It's more like she doesn't care about what I do, and I try not to care about what she does. We give each other space. It's what Legends do if they want to coexist. And right now, hand on my heart, I'm not really scheming against you. I understand why you two kids are paranoid, but if I was going to do something against you, I wouldn't be acting so obviously."

Cripple declared.

Hymn pressed his lips together and nodded. "Great, perfect. Glad you got that off your chest. I love being threatened by one Divinity or another. Everyone’s just treating me like garbage today…”

Cripple said.

"And they don't have quite as much dementia as you do," Hymn shot back. "Now that we've all finished waving our micro-penises at each other, can we get on with this thing? Because I have some more drinking and stroking to do later tonight."

"Did he just say stroking?" Kura said under her breath.

Gone nodded once. "Yes."

"Stroking what?" the scarred elf asked, genuinely confused.

"I believe he indicates an inclination towards masturbation," Tulveg declared, "but I cannot fully be sure. Human cultures are not all aligned, and the Republic has been an enigma to me."

Hymn proceeded to confirm the vampire's words with a snap of his fingers. "Yep, gonna spend some quality time with my favorite hands."

"But you only have two," Adam muttered.

Hymn nodded without any shame. "And I don't cheat on either. It takes both when the challenge they face is great enough.”

“Didn't you say micropenis a second ago?” Shiv asked, his intrusive thoughts getting the better of him.

“Size is relative. Something may appear micro when you're mating with a dragoness, but massive when compared to your hands.”

Suddenly, Shiv was having second thoughts about going through the Headmaster's mind.